27 February, 2011

Slowly yet surely...

BF has left his down on a Train for Sydney. As of a few hours ago actually. We're texting a little on hit journey, but a few spots along the way he has no signal on his mobile.
I'm nervous with him gone like this, sure I can still contact him, but I am nervous with him being away.

He'll be spending the night in Sydney with his brother and his fiancĂ©e, before boarding his plane sometime tomorrow his morning. I believe he said 11 or so?
He'll land at the nearest Airport at 12:22 on Tuesday, and from there has about a 40-50 taxi ride before he's here.
I'd pick him up, but he's due during right when I'd be getting my son to school and with the roads as they are, and the weather as it's been I fear driving that far on the freeway. Yes, I am a total wuss...

I wish he could just teleport here, nice and quickly. Just zip, he's here. Cut out all the travel time with limited ability to talk to him. Which is hard on both of us, but I think emotionally harder on me, he's stronger than I am emotionally.

My teacher took a look at my drawings and gave his critiques. I have more drawings due, more than I thought originally actually, they are due by the end of tomorrow.
I am going to edit my previous ones and hope that my doing so will give me a better grade than leaving my assignment as is. -_-;; I feel awful that I did not realize the problems before he picked them out. Meh.

We'll see what happens, I've been allowed in other classes to edit assignments when told about problems, so hopefully this one is the same so long as I get them turned in ASAP? I asked him if I edited if I would be allowed to repost. Hopefully he'll get back to me soon. Perhaps I shall do it anyway.

Of course, my hands and feet were too small, they are one of my weak parts for sure.

I finally made it out of the house today.
If only to have lunch with the EX and Kids. I was going to pay, as I was the one who said "Oh yes, that does sound good, lets go do that" When he brought up Chinese sounding particularly nice.

It was pretty nice, but I got full far too early and for the price of the buffet I wish I could have eaten more. I didn't even finish one plate, and I had my typical bowl of eggdrop soup with sticky rice and green onion. My goodness I love that soup...

I've been awfully tired today, perhaps because I have been staying up far too late the past few nights. Last night I was up until 3am, and woke around 9. Perhaps I should indeed be taking the trazadone again. So I can fall asleep at a more decent hour. At least I was woken pleasantly by my son this morning. It's a refreshing change from waking up to him whine-voicing in my ear about how he's 'up now'. It's extremely unpleasant to wake up to a whiny voice really. So when I wake up to a whispered, "mama, can I please get some breakfast?" is far more pleasant than not. So he got himself a slice of cinnamon swirl bread, I opened a satsuma orange up for him and he was content from there. Thank goodness, for me to sleep just a touch more as EX was crashed on the couch from a movie he watched last night and the oldest was up and just chilling around.

Thankfully, I know there is no way he'd get out of the house easily. Our front door lock (only door that leads outside), is a bit of a PITA and difficult to open even for me. Which means before he'd even get that thing unlocked I'd be out the bed and shushing him away. Then again, the kids know they are not to leave the house without permission. They also tend to ask for just about everything but to use the bathroom.

I'm trying to be more positive this post.. I realize on the whole I am a bit negative, whine, and depressed lately.
I am not sure how I am feeling here on the Cymbalta, it is perhaps just too soon to tell? I guess we shall see if I am able to make it through class without feeling dread and if I can get out of bed regularly come tomorrow morning without difficulty. I haven't thought to kill myself in the past couple of days. Which, actually to think about it is a marked improvement!

Alright, alright, I should attempt something productive yes?
Or, rather, it'd be nice if I could.

I suppose I shall see.

I want BF here, Tuesday is far away.

He's the only reason I cannot wait for March to start. God knows I do not enjoy the thought of being another year older!


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