04 February, 2011

Oh make it stop already!!

I'm tired of the headaches right behind my eyes even if I wear my glasses which I don't like and which are old but I can't afford to get new ones!!

I'm tired of being so nauseated that I think oh maybe I'm hungry? When I can't even tell if I am or am not and even when I eat.. Ugh! I've had breakfast, I took all my meds/vitamins that I have. Wellbutrin, Zinc, Vitamin D, and Fish Oil.

I'm going to look into other ones that are suggested for the ringing in my ears.. :( It had gone down pretty much up until I got all stuffy nosed/headed again and now it's just misery.

Also, I'm tired of waking up at night. Waking up at night is not good and I feel like crap in the morning when I do it!

Why do my kids eat my gum??? I buy them their own gum, and they eat mine and I need something minty to settle my stomach so I am going to have to be content with holding a open jar of Vick's vapor rub under my nose and smelling that until I don't feel like I am going to puke. Ugggh

Maybe I need to take a anxiety med? maybe? I don't want to first thing in the morning. Ugh..
I made the mistake of taking a allergy med last night, which I think is what made me tired?? I don't know.

I think I need to go to a doctor and have them try and help me with this constant congestion I seem to be having. Or I just need to stfu and suck it up and deal with it. I'm trying but it's not going so good! >.<

I wish that one job I do when I can manage to deal with customers (I set my own sched for it..) would just give me my 1099 already so I can file my taxes!! I need to file them so I can do my damned FAFSA ASAP because I was told that there is another Grant I could qualify for if I do it ASAP before it's all taken up.. Which would be great! It'd mean less money they'd have to pull out of federal loans... Baahhh..

I'm extremely jittery and frustrated with myself and my health right this second and I wish BF wasn't in another country so that his time is just not the same as mine or anything close because I could really use him to vent to.

I wish he was here! So I could curl up against him and he could hold me and protect me from all the yucky stuff and be here for me at night or day when I need to just have someone... something.. other than myself and my crappy emotional BS and my ... everything! I hate that I'm like this. I hate this entire stupid me that I am because of this stupid mental illness and I wish it'd just go away!!


I'm going to go fold some laundry!


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