12 May, 2011

What is wrong with me?

I went to bed early last night!
10PM early last night! Yet I'm STILL tired today. Why is that? I just want to curl up and nap and I feel absolutely horrid. Is something wrong with my thyroid I wonder? Maybe there is something else wrong with me and it's not just depression? What else could it be? If I slept better I would have energy to do stuff. I don't know. But I went to bed so early and I am still just dying feeling so tired. :(

Therapy.. yesterday..
Oh man.
Dr. L suggested therapy for the kids. So, we're going ahead and looking for a time during the week that she has four open therapists to see the kids while I am in session. It's strange, I don't know, I feel like more of a failure thinking that even my almost 5 year old may need therapy. Mostly because of me, because I am that horrid of a parent. Ugh.

I had to pledge again this week that I wouldn't search for ways to kill myself.
Fine, I wont, I wont harm myself, nor look for ways to.

Can I just run away yet?
Just put on my shoes and go? :( I need snuggles, comfort food, and to stop feeling so crummy all the time!



  1. I think the opposite in that a parent who loved their kids would let them do therapy. I've known of parents that refused to let their kids go because of how it would make them look.

  2. *hugs* Sorry you're having such a difficult time. On a more positive note, I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award! If you're interested in accepting, please check out my blog to learn how!


    *hugs* Love always! :D