Today

My youngest, and most likely last child. Is 5.
Not officially born into the world until 11:57PM, but 5 none the less. There she is, that big girl, across the room from me petting the cat who is rolling on the entry way rug.

I cannot believe she is 5, and on top of that, for 19 days I will have two 5 year olds in the house. As my son is 5 as well until June. Temporarily, people will be able to ask me their ages, and I can respond that they're both 5. They'll look at me confused, as they clearly look very different from each other. How could they possibly be twins?



Anyway, she's 5 years old. I cannot believe that 5 years ago at this time. I was sleeping, or laying upside down with things propping back behind me in effort to get her turned. See, she was breech the day before she was born. We'd had a doctors appointment and she'd turned back breech and was high up after the car crash two weeks before she was born. She was hiding rather far up and they were worried that this close to her due date (I was 3 minutes shy of 38 weeks when she was born!) that she was not far down and was head up!

Of course, the laying worked, and she turned a fair bit and that was what set off labor. Actually, I didn't feel feel like I was in labor, I was just really tired and had bloody show and visibly for the first time ever noticed I lost my 'plug' and all that jazz. When I'd got to the hospital they whisked me away for an ultrasound to check her direction! When they felt inside she was reaching a hand up and the nurse felt her grab for her fingers! My curious little girl! They panicked, but noticed her head was located towards my left hip. They warned me of a C-section, but I told them no, I trust she can turn if I lay down still and we give it time. There was no rush, there was no distress, there was no pain. Everything was fine and I trusted in myself and my body, as well as the little one in there that everything would be fine.

Still, they insisted on an IV (and I insisted only fluids! NO medication what so ever, and it HAD to be removed the moment she was out!) 'just in case' we needed to do an Emergency C-section. They would NOT keep their damn hands out of my area! It was the worst part of that labor is that they just kept ramming their fingers up in me. I eventually yelled, after my water had broke "Get your hands out of me woman!" to the doctor that was there, of course it was one I hadn't met as my own doctor couldn't be arsed to actually be there! What the heck?? Give me all the trouble and send some lady I did not even know, what did I see you the length of my pregnancy for?! Nothing??

Anyway. The first things said when she made her rather quick entrance into the world after that, was a gasp with "would you look at that RED hair?!" Say what now?? How did a blond, and a dark brunette get a red head?!

But there she was, a tiny, THIN 5lb 11oz red haired little girl! She was scrawny! I was heart broken, knowing the stress I was in during pregnancy and how often I'd thrown up, and how in the last two weeks I'd hardly managed to eat more than a couple of chocolate pudding cups a day. She was the thinnest baby I'd ever had! My heaviest having been 7lbs 11oz. Which just so happened as my exact birth weight!

So today, Happy Birthday my little petite red-head! You were born at 11:57PM on a hot May 19th 2006. Measuring at 19" long, weighing 5lbs 11oz, but being a tiny little 5lbs 7oz by the time we left. Here you are today, my not so tiny sweet girl. A 'huge' 42" at maybe 35lbs!

You bring me so many happy moments. Snuggling up to me and giving me that look when you want something. You naturally have this little charm where you can ask, glance up with those stunning greenish-blueish eyes, bat those thick eyelashes, and nod.

You say "Mine" for my, and it's adorable enough that I correct you only sometimes. Who's heart wouldn't melt at your cute, princess crown wearing, pink loving, adorable self as you crawl up onto my lap with a snuggle and a "I love mine mommy"??

I love you baby girl.
Stay as sweet and bubbly as always. Even if it IS illegal to be so cute! (A joke here, we tell her to stop being so cute because it's 'illegal' and she'll protest that it is not.. But trust me, it SHOULD be illegal to be as cute as kids can be at times)

-Shattered


I thought, perhaps, it'd be appreciated if I posted something other than about the general misery I am feeling lately. So for now, accept this entry in honor of my youngest. I'll talk about other things tomorrow.