I'm 'okay'.

I got back my grades for last weeks assignments. All 100% thank goodness! Because I was stressing it! "Rough Drafts" of art projects drive me crazy to present. I want to get it done from start to finish and present it. I know showing a rough can be good, but it feels like basically I am taking a picture of myself first thing in the morning with boogers hanging out my nose or something when I have to present a 'rough draft' before I do a final draft and part of the grade is NOT 'over working' the draft so it still looks GOOD but is still a ROUGH drafts.. >.<



Of course they changed the grading and now a 100% isn't actually easy. I mean that's great and all, means that 100% proves that you're FANTASTIC at doing the assignments, and below that varies in how awesome through not so much you are..

Okay okay, so I like the occasional ego stroking knowing that I am awesome enough at something that looks intimidating can be.

Also, I'm sorta still pissy.

I woke up this morning at 830!! AM! On SUNDAY yes, because there was a marathon and of course they had to run past the house THAT wasn't the issue. The issue was the jerk with.. I'm not kidding A COW BELL! He was sitting there hitting this COW BELL to encourage/cheer on the marathon runners.. SERIOUSLY?! I was up reading for class until 3:30 am !! I wanted to go out there, but I'm too damn afraid of all those people and even taking an anxiety med didn't give the any courage. I should have had alcohol.. maybe THEN I could have used 'liquid courage'.... then again..alcohol is not liquid courage for me.. >.> it just heightens my need for sexual intimacy.

Of course, sex is one of those 'feels so good and things rarely do!' things for me. Seriously... I don't derive pleasure from a lot of things in the world.. Sex is one of those rare things I do, and thusly.. I crave it.. WAY too much for my own good


Other than that.. my wounds seem to be okay, aside from one that got rubbed open so I have a bandage on it because it keep getting rubbed open. Ugh.

Other than that... Holiday weekends are strange.
Should have gotten the kids today. But they're with the ex-husband because he has tomorrow off too so according to the parenting plan I have to get them tomorrow.

I am no good when they're gone, I'm even more useless when they're gone than when their home.

...Bah!

-Shattered