11 May, 2011

Uncomfortable anticipation.

I have therapy in 23 minutes. I am not looking forward to doing it.
I am not looking forward to telling her that I flipped out yesterday and lost control of my emotions and how much I was just a disgusting total wreck.

I have no idea how she will take it, I have no idea if I had anything to do but that pledge but it feels more like it was a month ago between sessions than just a week. The days just drag, waking up is pure misery.
I realized that it is NOT purely the anxiety meds making me a bit sleepy. It's the fact that I don't sleep through the night. I wake up, on top of it taking awhile for me to fall sleep I wake up too many times. I really should just resort to taking medication, but I am afraid that I will just end up having to wake up to a puking child anyway. I don't know. Obviously they don't get sick THAT often.. but it's that irrational "there is no point!!" part of me that throws a fit like that.

Anyway.. EX is here to watch the youngest. He doesn't know about this blog so I have to go!


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