02 June, 2011

"So why tell someone?"

Dr. L asked about my burns.
I had told her about them.

She seemed not to really care too much that I did them. O.o

I told her, because I don't want to have to take out my inner pain on myself in ways like that. I want better ways to cope, I don't want the children to see these things and think that THIS is something that someone should be doing to themselves. Because I don't want to do this to myself, because I don't want to feel the pain inner or outer as much. I don't want to worry my boyfriend. I want.. I NEED the ability to manage myself when I am at the breaking point to where I DON'T do things like this to myself.

That seemed like a good enough answer for her.
I hope so, considering it IS the truth.

Went to the dentist on Wednesday.. err. Yesterday.
Guess what?

Closed. Yes, closed. *dies* They are not open until Tuesday next week. Bler. Of course, that day is also my sons birthday! I may go the day after. I really need these wisdom teeth out. I've been living off of doses of 1500MG of Tylenol at a time and that has been hardly getting me by. Enough, but hardly.

I have cupcakes I need to finish making. The 2nd graders are celebrating all the summer birthdays tomorrow and it just so happens that my second daughter happens to be one of those summer birthdays. So.. sure, I can make cupcakes for your class.

oh wait, BOTH 2nd grade classes? I went from needing 27 cupcakes to needing 56! Yikes. Not only that she wanted vanilla frosting but to be colored with half of them red and half of them blue. Red is a rather difficult color to get frosting to turn, dark blue is no exception. I am out of my actual good food colorings (the Wiltons brand stuff) so had to rely on the actual liquid type which takes even more to use!~!

Still, it hasn't been particularly stressful, so that is nice.

BF bought me dinner, Chinese is awesome and happiness.

The kids are out of school in officially one week.
Rent is paid for the month.
Everything looks at least somewhat decent

Though it appears I probably will have no choice but to actually sell my DSi. No overly large loss I suppose....

Ummm... really, I guess I wanted to update to say that I am okay.
I got a session today and lo and behold Dr. L and I got a laugh about my file being right where... we'd seen it last before none of us could locate it last time I was there. It was... insanely odd. Maybe a pirate-ninja hid it or something. Who knows. Still, it was good for a laugh.
I told her about all the stuff I have struggled with the past three weeks. That was sadly.. the bulk of our session.

Still, I felt better getting to cry about it and process it better than I could before.

The kids seem to like their therapists too. Which is good, they all click fairly well and they've all done some talking.

I really hope that this is right for all of us.


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