A sunny day

It took me a bit, but I finally came outside today. Went and got the youngest some sandals at target and she was upset that we couldn't find any of the ones she actually wanted in her size. Somehow, her shoe size has gotten bigger than I expected! Poor girl was crying at one point. :( But I found some Dora sandals that had some pink on them and they were clearanced so she was happy with them.

We got coffee at the starbucks inside target (only because I can use my target card.. >.>) and came home so she could change shoes then we came outside. I sat around sketching while she played with the neighbor boy. At times, I nervously talked with his mom and admitted I had no friends when she told me that they are having a BBQ this Sunday and I could invite my friends. -_-;

So she said, well I can come and mingle and then make some friends. I said... I would try. I know for sure the youngest would love to be able to come outside and play with the neighbor kids and any other kids that will be there, and I think... THINK I can manage it?

I've been off the computer for hours and I'm actually proud of myself for doing so. It was nice to just sketch something for some reason, it's good to draw for myself. Perhaps I can finally get back to that project I have been neglecting since I went on hiatus in February! Gah! I can't believe I did that. *sigh*

I can get back to it... really I can..

Today has been... one of those days.
Yesterday I couldn't remember if I took my Cymbalta and how I felt like death warmed over this morning was more of less the indication I needed to know that, for sure.. I did not indeed take it yesterday. I felt absolutely horrid! Uggh..
I felt better after I took my dose for today and had some food, of which I should likely look into getting myself some. I'll I've had is breakfast and that coffee. Oops, okay okay and a couple of Goldfish crackers.

I am sitting outside right now, on a chair at this really beat up table on the porch, listening to the birds chirp while the sun sinks into the distance.

The youngest is just over in the neighbors house (duplex that's attached to ours), and I can hear them from the opened sliding door. I'm not in there... because.. well I dunno, I didn't go in because it was her that was invited. But I am staying outside just because I don't want to seem like I am ditching her. Is that odd? Maybe... yeah it most likely is! I could just be inside instead of being attacked by bugs anyway!

There isn't much to say aside from that really.
I aced my final in class, and I am not enjoying a summer break. Well, I guess I am? I have been just sort of.. I've been trying not to sleep too much for lack of knowing what to do. I don't know why, but I find myself up super super late lately. Back to old childhood/teenager years habits. Up late, not want to wake up until late. Needless to say that is not a good combination with a kid, or kids around. So I am struggling to work against that right now. I thought that antidepressants would make stuff like that easier? Then again.. no, I also should be using that over the counter thyroid medicine I got or something like that.. hmmm

I don't even know if it was helping. I don't even know IF there is a problem with my thyroid. I don't even know, what all is wrong with me. I just know that I wish I felt.. more normal and alive and happy and.. something??
blah

-Shattered