Oh Laziness

Today got to be one of those days.
It was only the youngest and I today, and I had let her stay up late last night so she'd sleep in today. She didn't wake me up for 40 minutes after she woke up, saying she woke up at 11:30 (one one three zero is what she said.) Even from there, she woke me up because she wanted to know how to defrost her breakfast sandwich in the microwave. Of course, she didn't want me to do it at all. So, I told her what to look for and she did her breakfast.

I slept on the couch.



I've been in a state of falling apart since attempting to move things into the EX's room and make that office.
I haven't spent a lot of time in my room. Suddenly it's not my safe place, which is crappy, I'm trying to.. get.. over.. it...

So...
BF did not get part of the Diversity Visa lottery.. he did not get selected. I'm more crushed than I want him to know. This means we either try again for next year, or we find another way to get him here. Which means somehow means we need a sponsor for him.. To get here. It's... heart.. breaking and stomach knotting.

I've.. I don't even know.
I don't have many positives for the day. Other than..
Actually I don't even know.

I'm not sure what to say, not sure what to do, just feel a little tired and.. frustrated .
I don't know. I didn't end up going to bed until just about 6am this morning.

I'm..

Considering impatient.
I don't know.

I don't know what to do with myself.

-Shattered