21 April, 2011

ohh spring weather!

Is dreadful.
Snow, Hail, Rain, Sun, Hail, Rain, Rain, Snow.

Last I looked outside, it was snowing and sticking. YES snowing and sticking on April 21st. What's with that? *sigh* It's awful.
My mood has been unstable too, it hates the weather too..

I've tried my best to keep my patience today, I was run ragged!

Poor BF had to go to the hospital last night, he has this infection that went from tiny to massive and his lower left leg got all swollen so they had to lance it open and hook him up to IV's and now they will not let him work until after the 27th because he's on strict "stay off your leg!" instructions and antibiotics until then. I was so worried, I HATE that I cannot be there. I want to be there and make sure he's okay. Help him walk to the bathroom so he doesn't have to put weight on it. Something, I don't know.. but it's awful.. :(

Let's see....
One of those days that wears you out from start to finish. I didn't sleep well, I stayed up until I passed out waiting for any word from BF via text while he was on the hospital. Then I woke up at 6, texted him, fell back asleep, woke up at 7:25, asked for 30 more minutes and got more like 35 by the time no one was talking to me again. Geez, I was lucky the girls made it to school on time this morning.

Then I attempted homework, attempted being the key word. I was just so worn out and so out of it I didn't even want to do anything at all. Was finally working on it when I realized, crap I need to do lunch.. So blah did that, can't find the markers I need for my next class anyplace local for a decent price. Freaking hell. I want a decent coupon to Dick Blick, or gift cards or something., I should have asked for that for my birthday from family. Heh. I really need to pay attention..

Other than that.. my meds still tweak me out. This new higher dose is just so strange, I have to wait to get over it and see how I feel when I am not completely out of my head and tired and stressed.

Got my homework done and surprisingly was the 3rd person to get it in.. interesting, I wasn't done until about 7PM, which is 10PM in EST and I know some of my classmates are there. Then again, a few tend to be late with assignments.. often actually.. oh well.. their business not mine.


So, with Dr. L things sound better, we'll be working on my BPD of course, and further into depression and issues of the past.. BUT instead of just handing me a chapter from a book and saying "do this" around all the other stuff I have going on, we'll be working on things I can do DURING everything else. Because it's hard to find the time to focus on a full chapter with everything else. At the end of the day, I don't even have the state of mind to focus on heavy reading like that and when I try, I never remember it come morning..

Meh, listen to me whine. I'm trying not to.
I'm stressed. I'm tired. I wish I could be there for BF. I wish he was here. I wish he was healthy. I wish it was warm. I wish I had someone to come clean the house up for me one full time proper, that'd be really nice and a sanity saver...

Not that it's a major pig-sty.. it just... needs a little help.
No hoarders stuff going on here.


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