17 January, 2011

Just for a moment...

Peace and quiet...
Just for a moment right now. No music, no talking, just the sound of the heater blowing the hot air through the house and my fingers flying across the keyboard to write.

I should just let myself cry. Right now, about anything and everything.
All that I am scared of I should be able to put into words and just let it all go.
Yet I can't, for some reason the tears sit there on the verge of falling. I can FEEL them, they want to build up. Yet I cannot get them.

I've been trying not to be moody. I've been so happy that the rain has made the snow go away. I've got a front lawn again and a sidewalk!
I can drive and I'm not slipping, sliding, and unable to get into my driveway from the street because they plow us only in the middle of the night. Never mind that people need to drive in it yet can't because of terrible conditions.

Anyway, that's not really the worst of things right now.

Just other little things.
Like the world is falling down around my head but slowly and surely.
Some darkness to swallow me that I can't see out of no matter how hard a try.

I feel a bit hopeless.

Right now..
I just want to give up. Forget about everything. I don't want to fight anything anymore. Where's the white flag? I want to wave it.

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