19 January, 2011

I've been thinking about her all day...

... and I don't even know who she is.

She's tiny, maybe 2-3.. dark hair, and big brown eyes. She's shy, and pretty much clings to you and doesn't seem too comfortable around strangers as we walk around.

Yet BF and I pick her up from someplace. We've adopted her and said "sweetheart, from the moment we saw you.. we knew you were ours".

We take her shopping for clothes, and she wants dresses... White ones. She looks like a princess.

Then we go to a mall, we're walking around. Getting her a few things and she wants ice cream. I tell her no, not right now but we'll get ice cream from the store to take it home and share with the rest of the kids.

She fusses, and wants BF to hold her.. Not long later she's asleep in his arms/up against him.

She doesn't even wake up when we go and get the ice cream from the store to bring home..

I wake up, right after BF places her on the couch to finish her nap..

damning my alarm clock for pulling me from it.

I don't know who that little girl is but, I can't stop thinking about her.
Who is she? Is she out there already? Is she waiting for me/us? Is she just now being born? And in a couple of years we'll get her from someplace?

Or is it just my mind running away with me entirely? I just have such a strong feeling, it just felt so real. I was holding the youngest earlier and was thinking 'she's so much smaller than you...' and said to the youngest "I can't believe you've gotten so darn big". I felt, like someone should be here that there isn't.
I can't shake that feeling, and I wonder why?


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