Happy New Year

I don't really celebrate the New Year in any special way.
Most years, I've been caught up doing... the usual thing I do at night. That I've even missed the fact that oh. It's past midnight now. I guess the New Year has started?Woo?



Honestly, because I know no one in which to celebrate with. I don't tend to make it anything big. I would love to go to a party. Even just to get a drink, eat some snacks, kiss someone (BF :P) at midnight. You know?
Nothing crazy, just something better than nothing.

It's not even midnight here where I am yet! to be honest it's only 11:07 P.M as I am writing this...

... and my keyboard is acting REALLY poorly right now.
It's cheap as though, so I am not too surprised that I believe I shall have to replace it again.
Perhaps if T's cat wasn't the master at destroying things of mine (why always mine?! She's worse than a child at destroying MY things!!) I would perhaps be a bit more bothered with it.. But no..

Anyway, I haven't taken the time for feeling time tonight. Only because, I have had no feelings I've needed to push aside until later since my one yesterday. Which is... strange I guess?

I bought myself a little desk that was on clearance to use as a sewing table! It's got a top that if you loosen some nuts/bolts you can then flip the top over and it can either be blue or pink! It was the last one so I got sold the floor model. Which means it's already set to blue. I haven't been bothered with changing it around. Though perhaps I will do so? I am not sure. I am fond of blue personally, but I think pink may help with my general mood. As from what I have read using blue when you are depressed isn't a good idea.

Which means I need pink clothes and other colored clothes. I seriously have 98% blue clothes, with some black thrown in, it's pretty bad I will admit.

Hmm, means I have to get over my problem and go shopping.
That's hard. I make shopping lists, but end up closing out the websites and just eventually spending my money aside from rent and bills on the kids! Heh... go figure. I should learn to be a little selfish. wouldn't kill me right?

Umm..
More mouth pain.
I wish I had bought myself something good to snack on for New Years.
I feel in need of a snack.

Youngest and I have almost finished the chocolates.
They aren't as good as they were last year. They had less Christmasy tastes this year, so I am disappointed. Perhaps in general I am just over my love of them. My diet has changed my food favorites a bit.

I really want Sushi.
I want to go eat lovely food with BF and just be me and him with a nice time. I don't want it fancy though. Just us, being comfortable, and having a good time. We got so little time when he was here. I can't wait. Two more months, two more months. I've never wanted a birthday to come more than this one. Even though I dread the idea of getting older. I don't want to be as old as I am pushing.

I'm not ready for it yet..

Hey look, this turned into a feeling time type rant again.

Nope... not ready for it at all. I'm just not..

I miss the kids.
I get them tomorrow afternoon and I am just missing them so much that it's driving me a little nuts! Though I hope that I am good after this week long break that perhaps I will have at least a fair bit more patience!

Tomorrow I need to build that train table!
I want them to show up tomorrow at home after getting them and I want them to see it! Set up in the playroom and then they can play with it!

That will be great. I hope they will be happy...

.... I want to be happy too...

~Shattered