29 December, 2010

What the heck is wrong with me?!

I'm not even sure.
I went to bed earlier last night than I have the past few nights.
Or at least, I really attempted too!
A took a lovely long shower, scrubbed up, shaved, just felt really good and lovely.

 Brushed my hair, put on facial cream, brushed my teeth.
...which I recently patched with this temporary filling filler thing that you use when you lose your fillings. How come I didn't know about this before?! I wouldn't have had to suffer almost a year with pain and missing fillings?!?! Ugh..

Got into my jammy pants and BF's jammy shirt over the tank top I've been layering with lately..
Then texted him before heading off to bed.
Well, it took me seriously two hours, or more like 2 1/2?! Just to fall asleep because once I fixed the one spot that had been bothering me the most, apparently its pain had been masking the pain of other places in my mouth with painful cavities/lost fillings. Bla bla bla.. Eventually I just went and tried to figure out where exactly the pain was coming from, and patched up another spot.

So far so good I guess. I can eat without massive amounts of pain, though there is odd pressure where I put it on the first time. So perhaps I need to remove it and try not to put it in so, roughly? I have no idea what I am trying to say here really.

Despite it all, the youngest and I didn't manage out of bed until 11:00 A.M today. Yes, I did have alarms to wake me. 8:40 A.M, 8:45 A.M and then 9:00 A.M..
She didn't wake up either though, we did have a late night and I just completely spaced a proper bedtime. This break from school for the older kids has thrown my schedule off. Though I'll admit my schedule was off a little before that too because I had T taking them to school for a little. Which meant, I slept until S and D3 woke me up. I did manage to get up and out of bed ONCE at a decent time this week. I don't get it. Not in the slightest.

I have no desire to do anything at all.
I just want to sleep!

I don't want to sing, I don't want to draw, I don't want to write, I don't want to cook, I don't want to clean, I don't want to sew, I don't want to roleplay, I don't want to read, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want rest.
So, I am writing this to vent because I have the moment do to so now. Once I am done. I am going to go lounge on the second couch and possibly nap while D3 (also known as the youngest) watches cartoons.
I did watch some Cartoons with her for about two hours. So it was, something, right?

I did manage to pick garbage off of my desk.
Oh! T forgot to take the trash to the curb yesterday. So NOTHING got taken by the city garbage man.

SO FRUSTRATED at it! All I ask is that he 1.) Takes care of the cat box of his cat 2.) feeds her her dinner and 3.) takes the trash and recycle bins to the curb. ONCE a week. That's it! I don't ask much. I don't ask him to shovel snow, I don't ask him to vacuum floors, sweep floors, mop floors, do dishes (okay okay, I do rarely, but regularly it's me or the oldest one doing them), cook dinner, do laundry (I often do his!), bathe children or anything else of the sort. So, why the hell can he not do the simple things like that?

I mean, really now. It's not too much to ask to at least carry a little of the weight household wise.

You know what? Forget about it. Venting doesn't fix it at all.
I'm going to go lay down.
1 hour and 40 minutes until I go and see J.W again..
Another appointment.

Is this crap pointless?
Will talking about any of this actually make anything any better?
Or am I just doomed to live life like this?


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