Just here...

Another day spending it mostly in bed.
Really I'd ... actually no. I have no desire to do much more.

I have vague ideas of attempting other things. But really, I don't give too much of a shit today.
Thank goodness for left over pizza from last night. It was lunch today. I had a piece, and a cupcake. Yummy.

The kids are downstairs watching the oldest one play on my Pikachu N64, on Pokemon Snap trying to manage to get all of the Pokemon.



Sure there are things I COULD be doing.
I did indeed get a load of laundry washed, I've yet to send it on to dry. My goodness I've completely fallen off the wagon on doing.... oh anything at all. Even my diet has gone out the window. I have no idea how many calories that slice of pizza was. Probably 370? Since it was stuffed crust? Give that cupcake a good ohhh... 135 calories. Blech. That's a lot for right now.
I'll have to be careful the rest of the day. I'm sure I can do that.

Yet another day where the kids didn't wake me up until late.
I tried to go to bed earlier than before, I really did.

It was 2:30 before I finally lay down, and nearly 3 when I looked at my phone last.

*sigh*

Yet again my parents have blown me off. When I bought the van off of them, you know not really a year ago. Dad was supposed to fix the drivers seat. It's pretty much always laying down. Well okay, it is. It's broken and he was supposed to fix it.

Nope, he hasn't done it. I've fixed every problem the van had when he gave it to me that I could afford to do so far. $70, to get the drivers door rewelded on because it was too close to falling off, it didn't latch proper, things like that. I had to take out the original latch because it was broken, and install a new/used one pulled from a pull-a-part place where you pull parts from all the cars they have in the lot yadda yadda. Because the door only latched for a few days before it would no longer work. Yes I learned that with the kids in the car and wooosh! my drivers door flew open and I had to grab it.. panicked and scared as I was thankful to be driving home and only a few streets away when it happened! holding the door with my left hand, tears in my eyes as I pulled up to home like that.

I had to get the door apart from the inside and do it, it sucked.. I broke all my nails but one and got scratches...

Why's it so hard to come and fix the seat like you keep saying you will? Then you don't come.. you don't say anything, it's just... nothing? :( I've seriously been waiting since... ahhh.. oh what. June?

Then I had to get a motor mount replaced, then front tires, then the alignment, then the alternator (dad did take that out, after EX and I tried but couldn't...), and it still needs yet another repair from when I got it from them...

I hate to sound ungrateful.. but come on.. if you say you're gonna do it. Can you please do it? :(

Thursday, that's the plan now. Even though it was supposed to be two weeks ago weds, then thurs, then last monday, but I didn't hear from him all week and when I did he said okay... but didn't show. Then it was supposed to be yesterday, and I think if I hadn't asked them if they were coming they would have completely blown me off wordlessly again.

Now it's Thursday. Gah, let's see if it's REALLY Thursday now. Okay? :(

I'd like to not have massive backpain when I drive, plus if someone hits me.. I want that protection there so I'm not flung all the way backwards. I hurt enough as is without possibly wrecking my spine for life from lack of protection.

Hmmmm.. what else? No.. not much else. Right now that's what's bothering me really.

Oh, and I miss BF.. a lot.
But that's not different than normal. He's not awake yet. God I want him back here.

I'm glad it's spring break still.

Fuck it. I'll write more later. I feel agitated right now..

-Shattered