02 July, 2011

No idea for a title

Poor Dr. L was sick yesterday. So I didn't get to see her.. wait.. Thursday. I guess at this point Yesterday was Friday.

So.. I got to sit around the waiting room.
I did talk to my son's therapist/counselor about what he saw..
He see's the ADHD, he see's the ODD. But says the ODD is mild and that they should be able to work on it. He agree's about looking into medication for the ADHD, as well as working on having a set schedule and other things..

I've been more gentle with him (son) since finding out. How can I not be? I have an actual confirmation that.. it's NOT me! It's not all in MY head that he's difficult. It's not that I am a bad parent and that the EX is completely awful or anything else. It's not that he WANTS to be bad, it's just that... his brain needs some help and he needs our understanding.

The EX has been trying to get better with how he's handling him too, thank the gods for that one, because.... well... because.. The EX and my son can go at it so hard attitude wise that it can really fuck my head over something fierce and I hate it.

Today, he watched a movie with all four kids for the night. He does "Movie night" generally every other Friday night but only with the bigger girls. He watched one with all of the kids last night.. err... tonight.. whatever. They did pretty well, sure at some points he (son) got distracted, but he made it through the entire movie and I put him to bed. I'm so proud of him, he's been wanting to sleep on the futon in the playroom lately instead of in his room (it's summer, I'm allowing them to just. sleep where they want to as long as it's a comfortable place really.. more so since they've all been sick lately. Ugh, so whatever just sleep someplace as long as you sleep and don't all want to pile into my bed because I do like to sleep in my bed..

Anyway.. despite being around all those toys, he's slept fairly well! Which... is really amazing for him!

Went to the Walmart we used to go to before they made a closer one.
I didn't do well there.
I had panic attack after panic attack even though I made sure to take anti-anxiety meds 20min before!!
I didn't like the layout, I didn't like the lights, I didn't like that it was the 1st and so many people were there, I didn't like the smell, I didn't like that the food section is on the other end of the store compared to the other. I didn't like it's cramped style.. it was awful. It just all set me off, eventually I just went and had to wait in the car. I was NOT doing well. But I did make it about 97% of the trip.. then I went out with three of the kids while the youngest stayed in with the ex and he paid (I gave him my money to pay for my things)... I just turned on the air in the car, the music, and laid back the seat and calmed down the best I could.

Ex bought me my favorite coffee, he had it memorized. Which is great... hehe...
I got home, put the groceries away, and needed a nap but talked to BF a little before he went to work.. then I napped. Then made dinner, then started working my... doesn't pay enough but is better than nothing at home job... then it was movie time.

Oh! We went out of town and let the kids see their uncle, aunt and cousins from Ex-h's side before they had to go back to Germany because that is where he is stationed. Ex-h's Dad, and both of his brothers are in the Military. I am surprised that the Ex-h didn't go into it after our divorce, but.. I dunno..

uhhh... yeah. Went to Krispy Kreme... spent money I didn't really have.. because... I'm dumb like that.
Got the kids each a donut as a treat, EX didn't want one, I had one too, it was marginal. Sadly their machine was broken so we didn't get to watch the donuts being made and get the free original glazed they give out when the machine works! Those things are good fresh, honestly.. that was ALL I would have wanted, but I would have given the kids a donut even after that still. They did get little sample ice creams.. that was nice.

That was before Walmart. I took my meds there because there were lots of people and they were getting all impatient with these looks while the kids were.. being kids and having trouble deciding and I was scared that my son was going to run off because he was trying to be all over the place and.. geez..

... Alright.. I think I've been all over the place this entry. Maybe I can write something better tomorrow... or whenever I feel like I can write. I am not so sure about this cymbalta crap..
I'm not feeling the urge to do shit.


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