13 July, 2011

Do you ever forget?

What you look like?

I find that if I do not remind myself to look in the mirror, I forget what I look like.
The length of my hair, the size of my nose, how my cheekbones are. The shape of my eyebrows, the exact color of my hair, aside from what I can see of it... Things like that.

I forget things like that..
So, when I am sitting here at my computer desk (a place I haven't sat much lately. I've spent more time on my laptop than desktop since summer started), I leave my bathroom door open so that I can glance over from time to time to make sure that.. I don't forget who I look like.

Even if I feel oddly misplaced in who is right there.

I got the kids from the ex-h yesterday, and it seems my son has picked up a rather unfortunate habit from the ex-h's girlfriends daughter. Screaming, yelling, and getting absolutely pissed about the smallest thing. Of course he (son) was tired as all get out yesterday, so our dinner was a bit rough as the EX was being a giant douche about the smallest of things. He was literally arguing with a tired, ADHD, 6 year old who was emotionally out of control and hungry (ex-h does not feed the kids well, they always come back extremely hungry!). So.... the poor kiddo ended up having multiple meltdowns. RIGHT THERE in the restaurant. This is NOT typical of my son. He does not often burst into hysteric tears like this. Unless he's extremely tired and completely overwhelmed. So...

Why does the EX HAVE to agitate him so much? Why does he pick battles with a 6 year old?!

I'm.. so... heart broken over how he treats him.
Why can't he attempt to have a bit more compassion? I dread having to pick up the kids because of the drama it causes if I don't want him to go with me to get them. I dread going with him because he tends to pick these fights with a little child!


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