Sick right after school is out

The Ex-H decided it was more important that he go down to California with his GF to get her kids than it was to has his weekend with his own kids. Hmmm... she can't fly with two kids on her own??

Oh well..

Two of the four kiddos are sick, one show signs that she may be getting there. So my week with them will end up being tending to them while sick instead of going on walks and doing things like that. Which sucks. I had challenged them. If they could walk the 3 miles to McDonalds with me, I would get them Happy Meals, let them play, and get them ice cream for when they were finished (we'd ride the free city bus back, but not there..)

Of course, that can't even happen with a Flu going on. I can't expose them to people like that, nor do I believe in forcing ill children to walk 3 miles just for a lunch. *sigh*

*sigh* If they are still sick over the next week, I don't even know what he is going to do considering he'll be having them in daycare 2-3 days of the week. o.O Daycare doesn't really take TOO kindly to sick children, he may have to end up handing over any sickies to me. Then again, does he want to expose his GF's kids to the flu? I have no idea..
blah..

BF's work keeps giving him extra hours. Okay okay okay.. no it's not 'keeps' it is... Well they gave him a long shift today. Which is great, because when he works on a Sunday he makes overtime. Which is great, because... we could use that towards getting him here in early/mid-dec for the wedding and for moving and all that jazz..

Umm... not much else to say. I am still trying to muck through this last week and a half of school. Gods I hope I can. I did better on my assignments this last week than I thought I would. That or the teacher has lower standards. Then again, and this may sound bitchy, considering what I've seen my classmates do sometimes.. it's a wonder how any of them are passing sometimes.. >.> I guess I have high standards, because I know my oldest can do better work than some of these people..

Speaking of her..

My goodness, why did she get so big?!
Seriously... her toes, her feet.. I was rubbing them today so she could fall asleep on the other couch (she's one of my sickies..) and... they're just.. SO big. Where did my little baby girl go? >.> I am not good with this kids aging stuff...

They're aging faster than I can..

It's.. intimidating and a bit scary.

-Shattered

Wow,,,

Being sick really sucks. I got this cold/flu thing that my son gave to my oldest daughter and now on to me.

So, I feel like it is a lie to say "I am a healthy and loving individual" to be honest. My health is actually pretty sucktastic. But I suppose I need to lie and fake it until I make it even still?

Let's see.. I got 6 inches of my hair hacked off earlier this week. Those 6 inches were extremely dry and in poor shape. I also had the lady layer my hair. I am working out my previous color, and will soon have white hair. I will do the very bottom layer dark blue though. So that will all be interesting. I am going to do my last bleaching tomorrow before I put in the white from Punky Colour. I hope it goes well. It seems one part of my hair in particular is still.. an odd color, just one strand...? It makes no sense at all.

I am really being driven crazy by my son today. He seems to just want to act like the EX and be a total jerk and never listen to me. I hate to say it, because I do love him dearly, but my gods he treats me like shit and I absolutely hate it. :( I hope Therapy works for him... because it's not going to get better on it's own and I have tried countless things and with little results... *sigh*

Okay, I guess I will end it here for today.

1. I am a healthy and loving individual
2. I am worthy of happiness and love
3. I am intelligent and kind.

-Shattered

Exhausted.

My sleep is all over the place. I can't tell if I am tired. So I end up being up so late that I end up with maybe two to five hours of sleep. I have no idea why is wrong with me.. Who knows...
So I have been working myself hard, but at the same time not hard enough. I have no idea what to say about that really. I got through two birthdays, thankfully I am done with birthdays aside from my son's party in a week and a half or so.. hmmm...

Oh, speaking of. Today my son is 6. I made cake balls for his class. I was crazy to try and make 50 cakeballs. I barely got them done in time to get there for their snack time. Still, most of the kids enjoyed them. But I have to say I wanted to die a little each time someone threw one they'd just bitten into away! They were... actually very good! I will likely make them again, but with less time crunch and I will most likely actually have the kids to help me. I think they'll like that.

It is a messy task.. but oh they were good.

They were Triple Chocolate Orange cake.. A Triple Chocolate cake mix, with a bit of Pure Orange Extract... then Chocolate frosting mixed in, which also had Orange Extract.  Then they were rolled into balls, chilled, and then coated with either  Orange flavored (with the extract..) vanilla Orange colored Wilton's Candy Melts.. Dark Chocolate Mint ones... or Milk Chocolate Orange (with extract..) ones.. >.> Obviously.. I needed more of the candy melts than I thought I did.. Or actually I think my problem was is that I did not actually melt the orange ones enough so they were thick thick... so their coating was worse..


They were better than my usual cookie balls. Which is an entire package of Oreo's, crushed to a fine powder, mixed with soft cream cheese.. and coated in.. all sorts of things. A mix of cocoa and powdered sugar is good, sprinkles are good, Andies mint chips melted are good, or various candy melts..

This after the 57 cupcakes I had to do last week. I have hardly had much to write about. I am just trying to get by day to day. After tomorrow. I will only have one and a half weeks left of school. Then my blessed vacation. Sadly, my grades for last week put me at a 95.5% A.. Yeah yeah.. complain why don't I...

*sigh* I have been trying to remember to say the words Dr. L told me to say..
My teeth are giving me lots of pain.
I've been having coffee basically ever day just to make it through. But I make sure it's not so late in the day. Usually well before dinner time. So it can't be what is keeping me up.

Anyway... I guess I really just have to take care of homework more. I've drawn it.. but I still... actually I am not even done drawing the darn thing. o.O;; I have been a bit slowed with mental fatigue and the kids seem relentless in their need of me lately.

Yes, stuff to do.

I hope everyone is doing well.
I need to catch up on my reading!

-Shattered

I like it..

Yesterday, Friday, was the kids' school end of the year 'carnival'.

Mostly, we went, ate some pizza, drank a drink, ate some ice cream.. and then 3 outta the 4 kids got little squirt guns (there were two bins, you got one prize out of each.. just because.. o.O). So, we went outside and the three with water guns were off. The youngest went and chased around boys and really got them good!
The oldest two went around with their friends and played squirt guns. So that left me and my son, I just walked around while he did some things. Played a lassoing game, got his face painted, got some temporary tattoo's, tried to hula hoop, played with his giant balloon yo-yo thingy.. I am not sure what it's called really but yeah.. got his hair spray-colored pink, green, and orange. Stuff like that.

Somehow I managed just fine with two of my anxiety meds. It was just me, the kids and all those people. I didn't get freaked out or anything. It was... absolutely amazing I have to say.
I even didn't mind going to the bathroom while they all did their things. Which meant they were out there in the school playground and field area while I went inside the building. It was...
Well I am proud of myself for being able to relax in the situation.

The kids' school is actually really great. I managed the cupcakes, but the frosting that was actually colored ended up melting no matter what I did. :( Still, they're 2nd graders, and didn't care and thought they were good anyway! Thank goodness I am doing cakepop's for my son's class! Those will e easier to handle and I wont actually need 57 of them! @_@

Lets see, took it more or less easy today. Yesterday I was exhausted and slept off and on and didn't do my homework until late. Still, I got it done and that is what counts, and on time too!

We went and saw Kung-Fu Panda 2 today. I really did like this one better than the original, very nice. I smell a 3rd one coming on after the end of the movie, but we shall see.

Not feeling all in all so well today, mouth is bothering me a lot and really I hope that next week I can get these dang teeth taken care of

I can't believe summer break will be here soon. I am looking forward to 8 weeks with no homework at all. Absolutely fully looking forward to it!

At the same time not though.

Anyway, all in all... doing better than I was the last few weeks. It really is a nice change.

1. I am a healthy and loving individual.
2. I am worthy of happiness and love.
3. I am intelligent and kind.

Those are three things that Dr. L wants me to repeat when I am feeling crummy, but I have been doing it even when not. So that I can get them into my mind and 'fake it until I make it.'

It will work, because, I am saying it is going to work. I will not let it NOT work.

I will get past this. I will beat this.
I will make it safely off this "Borderline" and I will be okay.

-Shattered

"So why tell someone?"

Dr. L asked about my burns.
I had told her about them.

She seemed not to really care too much that I did them. O.o